the Nuprin penis:

Little, Yellow, Different.

the Equal penis:

Tastes like Sugar.

the Excedrin penis:

It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.

the Sprite penis:

Image is nothing...Taste is everything.

the Snickers penis:

It satisfies you.

the Alkaseltzer penis:

Pop, pop, fizz, fizz...Oh, what a relief it is...

the Magnavox penis:

Smart. Very Smart.

the American Express penis:

Don't leave home without it.

the Pringles penis:

Once you pop, you can't stop

the M&M penis:

Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

the Frosted Flakes penis:

They're GGGRRRREEEEAAAAATTT!

the Lucky Charms penis:

They're magically delicious

the Energizer penis:

It keeps going and going

the Right Guard penis:

Anything less is uncivilized

the Jolly Green *Giant* penis:

Self-explanatory

the Campbells Soup penis:

Mmm mmm good

the Purple Pickle penis:

Heh heh

the Kix penis:

Kid tested, mother approved.

the Tombstone penis:

What would you like on your penis?

the Ragu penis:

Comes out chunkier than the rest.

the Chips Ahoy penis:

Betcha bite a chip.

the Purdue penis:

More meat, less bone.

the All State penis:

You're in good hands.

the 7-Up penis:

The UN-penis.

the Nike penis:

Just do it.

the Barq's penis:

The one with bite.

the Beef penis:

It's what's for dinner.

the Bud Lite penis:

Great taste, less filling.

the Subway penis:

Where fresh is the taste.

the Kentucky Fried Chicken penis:

Finger licking good everybody needs a little.

the Life penis:

Mikey likes it.

the Transformers penis:

It's more than meets the eye.

the Twizzler penis:

It makes mouths happy.

the Nintendo penis:

Now you're playing with power.

the Robitussin penis:

Used by nine out of ten moms.

the Crest penis:

Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.

the Champion penis:

The official penis of the '96 u.s.a. olympic team.

the Starburst penis:

The juice is loose.

the Toyota penis:

I love what you do for me.

the Citibank Visa penis:

It's everywhere you want to be.

the Timex penis:

Takes a lickin and keeps on.......

the Burger King penis:

Have it your way

the Dairy Queen penis:

Hot eats, cool treats

the Milk penis:

It does a body good. (got penis?)

the Flintstone's Vitamins penis:

10 million strong and growing

the Wendy's penis:

Where's the beef?

the Captain Planet penis:

Go PENIS!!

the Folger's Crystals penis:

The best part of wakin up is a penis in your cup.

the Lays penis:

Betcha can't eat just one.

the Mr. Clean penis:

Is it wet or is it dry?

the Diet Coke penis:

Just for the taste of it...

the Doublemint penis:

Chewing really satisfies.

the Juicyfruit penis:

The taste is gonna move ya.

the Big Red penis:

It's longer with big red.

the Neon penis:

Hi.

the Generic penis:

One size fits all.

the Rave Music penis:

Ya'll ready for this?

the Mortal Kombat penis:

Nothing can prepare you.

the Bounty Penis:

The quicker picker-upper.

the Pizza Hut penis:

Makin' it great. Again and Again.

the Bounce Penis:

With Static-Guard!

the Domino's Pizza penis:

Delivers in 30 min or less

the Nyquil penis:

The nighttime coughing, sneezing, runny nose, itching, burning, so you can't rest penis.

the Extra penis:

Lasts an extra extra extra long time

the Wonder Bubbles penis:

Magic wand inside!

the Wonder Bubbles II penis:

For ages 3 and up

the Gillette penis:

The best a man can get.

the Charmin Double Roll penis:

It lasts longer because it IS longer.

the Bacardi penis:

Taste the feeling.

the Macintosh penis:

Power is everything.

the Borg penis:

Resistance is futile.

the Edge Shaving Cream penis:

Ultimate closeness, ultimate comfort.

the Beatles penis:

Now half than it used to be.

the Jell-O penis:

Look at it wiggle, look at it jiggle.

the Secret penis:

Strong enough for a man, ph-balanced for a woman.

the Micro Machines penis:

A whole world, in the palm of your hand.

the Sanka penis:

Get that good to the last drop feeling.

the Swiss Miss penis:

The taste you can enjoy anytime, anywhere!

the Payday penis:

Its almost totally nuts!

the Yellow Pages penis:

Let your fingers do the walkin.

the Sony Play Station penis:

You are not ready.

the Life Savers penis:

Five fruity flavors.